Sure, most would say that committing out loud in front of family and friends to love, honor, and cherish one another til death do us part is a pretty big "new life chapter" signal. And I do agree. But you know what really brought it home for me? Filling out a little form called SS-5: "Application for a Social Security Card". ie. changing my last name.
I've spent a great deal of time over the past year thinking about this issue. And I went back and forth on what I thought I wanted to do several times. On the one hand, I felt so tied to my birth name - more specifically, the feeling it gave me of connection to my birth family. With both my parents deceased, there was a part of me that felt keeping my name would keep me tied to them. Plus, throw on top of that the feminist argument raging around in my head asking "why does the woman have to make the change?" I don't think I really need to go into too much detail here on that argument, because I'm pretty certain anyone reading this blog has had a similar debate at one point or another and are familiar with where I'd go with that one...
Then of course there's the whole hyphen two name solution. This was actually Andrew's favored solution. But even for as much as we kept coming back to it - it just didn't feel right to me. And when he pressed me to explain why I didn't want to have both, when that seemed the perfect solution to all my wavering...I simply knew that this was one of those "wedding/marriage" aspects that I fell into the traditionalist category.
And that really shocked me. And it still does. I officially changed it and am now known to the US Government (and my work) as Mrs. Marrvelous. And yet, it is still so incredibly strange to me. Seeing my new name on my work email makes me do a double take. I tried to tag a photo on Facebook and typed in my maiden name and when "I" didn't pop up anymore wondered "What the hell! where am I!?" until it dawned on me, oh yeah - that name no longer exists. And all of those tiny moments of confusion continue to hit me with the enormity of this change (at least for me) and each time I'm left wondering again, so why did I change it?
Now after breaking down and telling you how I got teary eyed filling out the social security application...I do want to say that for every moment of sadness I feel when it dawns on me that the old name is out, I have ten moments of happiness thinking about creating this new family with Mr. Marrv. I know my brothers and sister are still just that...whether we share a last name or not. And I love the connection I now have with my parents in law.
So for those of you who have gone this path before me, it becomes more comfortable, right? And am I the only one who instantly feels 10 years older being called a "mrs"?
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
1/13/11
1/7/11
Settling In
So even by my on and off blogging standards, I've been awfully quiet the last few weeks. Following the wedding weekend we were off to Florida for the holidays with family. And then when we returned we had a few days remaining before my in-laws flew home to Scotland. We spent a great deal of effort trying to absorb every minute we could with them as we know we won't see them again until Christmas 2011 - and that's a very hard realization.
Top it all off with a cold and trying to find the motivation to return to work after such an amazing few weeks off...well, I'm a little at a loss for blog writing at the moment.
But I will be back soon and hopefully with photos! We're still waiting on the professional ones and I'm going to wait for those for recaps though I'll start with events before the "big" day since I have my own shots of those events.
Here is my favorite from our first night in Florida though... a beautiful south Florida sunset as husband and wife! This is the image I keep going to in my mind - it's where my head is at the moment ... content, comfortable and happy.
Top it all off with a cold and trying to find the motivation to return to work after such an amazing few weeks off...well, I'm a little at a loss for blog writing at the moment.
But I will be back soon and hopefully with photos! We're still waiting on the professional ones and I'm going to wait for those for recaps though I'll start with events before the "big" day since I have my own shots of those events.
Here is my favorite from our first night in Florida though... a beautiful south Florida sunset as husband and wife! This is the image I keep going to in my mind - it's where my head is at the moment ... content, comfortable and happy.
12/3/10
The Calm Before the Storm
We're in the final stretch. Yesterday was the 2 week mark until my in-laws (teehee, I love having in-laws. I know, who says that? But mine are awesome...more on them to come in another post) arrive. Marrv woke up yesterday and did a little jig on his way to the shower, calling back to me over his shoulder "Two weeks! Two weeks babe 'til mum and dad arrive". Talk about one super excited guy - going a whole year without seeing family will do that to you for sure.
I feel like there is just so much left to do tho I've been able to stay rather calm. I get comments daily from random people about how calm I am. I definitely take it as a compliment, but it also makes me a bit sad that it seems so odd to people that they feel the need to comment. That the "normal" bride is always so frazzled and crazed that anything less than shouting and sobbing is considered "different". I do fear that I still have a few sobs left in me though, like I said - still a bunch to get done and as much as I want to have it all out of the way before I pick up my in-laws (happy face again) I know there are some things that just can't be done until the wedding weekend - cake pick ups, taking said cakes and other decor to the restaurant, flowers (I've decided I'm going neighborhood market day of route because I can't be bothered trying to find a reasonably priced florist who doesn't drop their jaw when I say I need just two bouquets and a wrist corsage in less than 2 wks - lord help me). And I'm a bit fearful of who I may turn into smack dab in the middle of 15 errands on Saturday morning. But I'll deal with that when and if it happens.
We took care of our seating arrangement the other night while laying in bed. It got heated quickly which I knew it would and which is why I tried to suggest not doing this just before bed. I think it shocked Marrv though that who sits next to who actually matters or that someone may actually be upset by not sitting with another particular person. After several deep breaths, we scribbled it out and everyone is going to have a seat and plenty of booze so hopefully they're all happy.
And of course, walking around the city the past few blustery, chilly days it has finally hit me - I'm going to be one COLD bride! Eek. We were hoping to walk from ceremony location to reception restaurant as it's only about 6 blocks and you have to walk through our favorite city park to get there (pictures!). Now besides the fact that I'm a bit terrified of my 4.5 inch heels (they're so gorgeous tho) I'm thinking I'm just going to use my normal winter dress jacket. Um, tell me that's ok, right?!
Well, hasn't this ended up as one rambling post? I started with the idea of expressing how I feel calm even with a ton to do and knowing that we'll just keep plugging away day by day. And even with the fear of the potential (and most likely, inevitable) stress... I'm still so freaking excited! Excited for the in-laws, family and friends to get here! Excited for the dinners, showing off my dress, for people to see our guest book (yes, tiny bit victim of the 'pretty details') and excited to stand up with Marrv and say I Do !
11/23/10
Giving Thanks
Sunday night, lying on one section of our L shaped couch with book in hand, snuggled under big fluffy blanket. Marrv lying on the other section of the L shaped couch intently watching football, snuggled under really plush blanket with both kitties snuggled right in there with him.
He turns to me and asks "What are you thankful for this year?" - just a hint of a smile on his face.
I say nothing, and simply point at him, then at his chest where Reina is curled in between her papa and the couch, then lower at his feet where Sammy J lies comfortable in his position as king of the house.
The moments of stress - wedding related, career related, finance (or lack thereof) related all fade out of mind as I think about our family (not solely by blood).
The family on one side that has instantly welcomed me and accepted me as one of their own. Made me feel comfortable and loved like they've known me forever. The family on the other side that has supported me through some devastating lows and a lot of really wonderful highs for the past 30+ years and make me who I am today.
And this year...for my baby family that's just really starting to take hold and blossom and grow. I'm a happy, and deeply thankful, girl.
He turns to me and asks "What are you thankful for this year?" - just a hint of a smile on his face.
I say nothing, and simply point at him, then at his chest where Reina is curled in between her papa and the couch, then lower at his feet where Sammy J lies comfortable in his position as king of the house.
The moments of stress - wedding related, career related, finance (or lack thereof) related all fade out of mind as I think about our family (not solely by blood).
The family on one side that has instantly welcomed me and accepted me as one of their own. Made me feel comfortable and loved like they've known me forever. The family on the other side that has supported me through some devastating lows and a lot of really wonderful highs for the past 30+ years and make me who I am today.
And this year...for my baby family that's just really starting to take hold and blossom and grow. I'm a happy, and deeply thankful, girl.
11/12/10
Eye on the Prize
The prize is a loving, healthy, challenging marriage and life together right?
Wrong! It's the honeymoon! (ok, no. I don't really think that a vacation is more of a prize than our loving, healthy, and challenging - as in challenge each other to be better people - marriage and baby family BUT I do really like vacation too)
And even though we're only 5 weeks away from the big day and there are still plenty of wedding-related chores and decisions to be made....we've been overly focused on the whole 'let's take a trip' part of it.
As I've mentioned before, immediately following the wedding we are jetting off for a week of sunshine in Florida with my in-laws (yay!), my sister (another yay!) and my aunt (the final yay!). This was always the original Christmas 2010 plan and then we decided to throw the wedding onto the beginning of all that - and we're pumped for this (I keep working on my facial and full fist pump/knee on the ground reaction so that I'm totally prepared when I get my wand from the Wizarding World of HP!). However, it is NOT the "honeymoon".
Wrong! It's the honeymoon! (ok, no. I don't really think that a vacation is more of a prize than our loving, healthy, and challenging - as in challenge each other to be better people - marriage and baby family BUT I do really like vacation too)
And even though we're only 5 weeks away from the big day and there are still plenty of wedding-related chores and decisions to be made....we've been overly focused on the whole 'let's take a trip' part of it.
As I've mentioned before, immediately following the wedding we are jetting off for a week of sunshine in Florida with my in-laws (yay!), my sister (another yay!) and my aunt (the final yay!). This was always the original Christmas 2010 plan and then we decided to throw the wedding onto the beginning of all that - and we're pumped for this (I keep working on my facial and full fist pump/knee on the ground reaction so that I'm totally prepared when I get my wand from the Wizarding World of HP!). However, it is NOT the "honeymoon".
10/29/10
Avoidance
We've been cranking through our to-do list. Still on the high of being so close and feeling productive (I'm sure it'll crash and burn soon and I'll be near hysterics and screaming "but what about stickers for the out of town boxes" at a high pitch squeal and hopefully I'll remember to just let it all go...but anyway....)
There's just this one small issue I've been avoiding - avoiding thinking about, avoiding creating a plan, and even avoiding writing about here. But then today's A Practical Wedding post happened. And I realized, I have to start confronting it.
The "IT" you ask? The IT is that on a day when Marrv and I will be surrounded by the most important people in our lives and to show our commitment in building our family together, three of the most important people in my life won't be there. My mother went first. She passed away when I was 15. Next was my brother, the second oldest in the family, bringing my siblings count from four to three when I was just 27 years old. Then, about two weeks after I turned 30, and just before he turned 72, my dad died.
I make jokes that the wedding isn't that large because my family keeps getting smaller. We're all dying off. I won't go into great detail about the impact this has had on my relationship with Marrv (I'll save that for another post), but I have noticed that now that I have my partner, he is certainly the target of a lot of my worry, concern and fear. He and I both know that every time I nag about how much red meat he eats and how it's bad for his heart (usually as I am also trying to sneak a bite of the very same bacon cheeseburger..) that it's really my fear of losing him, my need to control the relationships in my life that is the cause. Every day when I harp on the need to take daily vitamins, we know why.
There's just this one small issue I've been avoiding - avoiding thinking about, avoiding creating a plan, and even avoiding writing about here. But then today's A Practical Wedding post happened. And I realized, I have to start confronting it.
The "IT" you ask? The IT is that on a day when Marrv and I will be surrounded by the most important people in our lives and to show our commitment in building our family together, three of the most important people in my life won't be there. My mother went first. She passed away when I was 15. Next was my brother, the second oldest in the family, bringing my siblings count from four to three when I was just 27 years old. Then, about two weeks after I turned 30, and just before he turned 72, my dad died.
I make jokes that the wedding isn't that large because my family keeps getting smaller. We're all dying off. I won't go into great detail about the impact this has had on my relationship with Marrv (I'll save that for another post), but I have noticed that now that I have my partner, he is certainly the target of a lot of my worry, concern and fear. He and I both know that every time I nag about how much red meat he eats and how it's bad for his heart (usually as I am also trying to sneak a bite of the very same bacon cheeseburger..) that it's really my fear of losing him, my need to control the relationships in my life that is the cause. Every day when I harp on the need to take daily vitamins, we know why.
10/19/10
Oh Snap...
Did someone say two months? TWO MONTHS!
And where is my mind currently? Pretty much in that "Throw some cash at it and hope it gets done!" crazy state of holy moly in two months exactly we're getting married in front of our family and friends!
There is still so much to do but right now, we're dealing with it and I'm feeling ok. I'm picking invites up from printers tonight, my wedding band is being cast as I type and should be finished shortly, kilts are practically ordered, and we've agreed on table top decor. Now, you know, to write the ceremony, figure out the whole flower situation (I am so lost on that one that I've barely thought about it), pick piper songs, and create our iPod playlist for the restaurant (oh yes - when I went to the reception restaurant to drop off contract and deposit they let me know that our floor has its own sound system and we can bring our iPod to play whatever music we want!!! It was just one more bit to make me love the wedding we've chosen/created).
And more than all this - I think both Marrv and I are so excited it's only 2 months away because it means only 2 months until we see all of our best friends (both those coming to the wedding and those incredible individuals helping us out even if they're not attending...our magic wedding fairies). And most importantly - only 2 months until Marrv's parents arrive from Scotland! Fortunately, I've got pretty outstanding In-laws. Unfortunately they live across a big fat ocean. It's hard only seeing them once, maybe twice, a year. We skype most Sundays, but it's not the same and this time each year is when Marrv gets especially cranky/antsy -- he knows he sees them soon which is good because he is basically at the point where he can't take seeing them much longer. And now that I've been so lovingly wrapped into this family, I feel the same way.
So yeah -- Two Months! Bring it!
And where is my mind currently? Pretty much in that "Throw some cash at it and hope it gets done!" crazy state of holy moly in two months exactly we're getting married in front of our family and friends!
There is still so much to do but right now, we're dealing with it and I'm feeling ok. I'm picking invites up from printers tonight, my wedding band is being cast as I type and should be finished shortly, kilts are practically ordered, and we've agreed on table top decor. Now, you know, to write the ceremony, figure out the whole flower situation (I am so lost on that one that I've barely thought about it), pick piper songs, and create our iPod playlist for the restaurant (oh yes - when I went to the reception restaurant to drop off contract and deposit they let me know that our floor has its own sound system and we can bring our iPod to play whatever music we want!!! It was just one more bit to make me love the wedding we've chosen/created).
And more than all this - I think both Marrv and I are so excited it's only 2 months away because it means only 2 months until we see all of our best friends (both those coming to the wedding and those incredible individuals helping us out even if they're not attending...our magic wedding fairies). And most importantly - only 2 months until Marrv's parents arrive from Scotland! Fortunately, I've got pretty outstanding In-laws. Unfortunately they live across a big fat ocean. It's hard only seeing them once, maybe twice, a year. We skype most Sundays, but it's not the same and this time each year is when Marrv gets especially cranky/antsy -- he knows he sees them soon which is good because he is basically at the point where he can't take seeing them much longer. And now that I've been so lovingly wrapped into this family, I feel the same way.
So yeah -- Two Months! Bring it!
9/30/10
Bad Blogger
So the last time we were here, we saw the heroine of this story in the middle of a melt down and feeling as if she was sinking into the many demands of life and so scared she would continue sinking until smothered her.
Well I'm here to tell you....I'm baaaack. (you know, until the next time it all becomes too much that is!)
It was certainly strange there for a bit. I'm not sure I can even adequately put into words how "overwhelmed" I was feeling. And it wasn't just the wedding. It was life. The wedding simply was that final straw that always seemed to push and push and push on everything else. It just fully dawned on me how much was going on with work, keeping up with my friendships, travels and then the wedding too. And one day it really hit me - both of my parents are deceased, my in-laws live in Scotland, my matron of honor lives in California and as much as Marrv may want to be involved, he works 8am to 9pm most days - making for a not overly involved groom. That leaves little ol' me. But Marrv was there through it all, took the brunt of my harsh reactions and emotional melt downs (had a few of his own) and here we are, on the other side of it and feeling way more excited and happier.
And I had a birthday this week! We celebrated by jetting off to the mountains with friends for a few nights. We kicked ass in a "sangria-off" among the group(Or maybe it was the sangria that kicked our ass....) and partook in hilarious games of Cranium where there are no other words to describe my ability other than "On Fire! Huzzah!" (Yes, I may have shouted that a few times. And again, I blame the sangria). Marrv spoiled me rotten, and I probably got the best gift from the in-laws...in the card they mailed over, they included a photo of little Marrv on his tricycle, with a little red rain slicker, little blue wellies (this was Scotland after all) and just the cutest little look on his face. It now resides on the table next to the bed - something for me to glance over and help to put a smile on my face at times when I may need a reminder of what it's all about.
To wrap up this long ramble ... tomorrow I'm taking a lunch time trip to a jeweler! To discuss wedding bands and other possible new fun jewelry! And I am SOOOO excited. There are so many bits and pieces to the wedding and some of them are cool but honestly, you could probably go 10 different ways on the decision and be ok with it. Or some things that you do because you "have" to - for whatever reason. Then there are the things that you can't stop thinking about because to you, they're the things that really matter. And for me, this is one of those things. I know objectively that a ring doesn't make a marriage. But I cannot wait to slip on that band. When I think of it, to me, all I think of is the commitment and family that we are busy creating and building.
Fingers crossed these jewelers are "the one"!
Well I'm here to tell you....I'm baaaack. (you know, until the next time it all becomes too much that is!)
It was certainly strange there for a bit. I'm not sure I can even adequately put into words how "overwhelmed" I was feeling. And it wasn't just the wedding. It was life. The wedding simply was that final straw that always seemed to push and push and push on everything else. It just fully dawned on me how much was going on with work, keeping up with my friendships, travels and then the wedding too. And one day it really hit me - both of my parents are deceased, my in-laws live in Scotland, my matron of honor lives in California and as much as Marrv may want to be involved, he works 8am to 9pm most days - making for a not overly involved groom. That leaves little ol' me. But Marrv was there through it all, took the brunt of my harsh reactions and emotional melt downs (had a few of his own) and here we are, on the other side of it and feeling way more excited and happier.
And I had a birthday this week! We celebrated by jetting off to the mountains with friends for a few nights. We kicked ass in a "sangria-off" among the group(Or maybe it was the sangria that kicked our ass....) and partook in hilarious games of Cranium where there are no other words to describe my ability other than "On Fire! Huzzah!" (Yes, I may have shouted that a few times. And again, I blame the sangria). Marrv spoiled me rotten, and I probably got the best gift from the in-laws...in the card they mailed over, they included a photo of little Marrv on his tricycle, with a little red rain slicker, little blue wellies (this was Scotland after all) and just the cutest little look on his face. It now resides on the table next to the bed - something for me to glance over and help to put a smile on my face at times when I may need a reminder of what it's all about.
To wrap up this long ramble ... tomorrow I'm taking a lunch time trip to a jeweler! To discuss wedding bands and other possible new fun jewelry! And I am SOOOO excited. There are so many bits and pieces to the wedding and some of them are cool but honestly, you could probably go 10 different ways on the decision and be ok with it. Or some things that you do because you "have" to - for whatever reason. Then there are the things that you can't stop thinking about because to you, they're the things that really matter. And for me, this is one of those things. I know objectively that a ring doesn't make a marriage. But I cannot wait to slip on that band. When I think of it, to me, all I think of is the commitment and family that we are busy creating and building.
Fingers crossed these jewelers are "the one"!
8/26/10
Off to North Cackalacky
Off to Pinehurst, North Carolina for a nice four day vacation with a few of Marrvelous's friends - including our best man! Yay, I get to meet our best man. finally. I know, strange that I haven't met such an integral part of our extended family, isn't it?
Two of Marrv's best friends from Scotland live here in the States as well (Pinehurst and West Palm, FL), both are golf pros as well and are married to American women. The friends from FL will be there (as well as the Florida Scotsman's parents ... from Scotland. And yes, the father is a golf pro in Scotland. Over there they just put golf clubs in their hands as wee boys!)
I'm really looking forward to a long weekend with a group of people Marrv considers family. We spend so much time with my friends or friends he has made here in Philly since moving to the US, but these are the friends who have known him since he was a youngin' and will be the ones with the truly obnoxious, yet hilarious toasts at the wedding.
Needless to say I'm looking forward to it - but the best part has been the look on Marrv's face every day this week. He's like a child at Christmas, so excited to be on vacation, play golf and more than anything - spend time with his best mates. It makes me so happy to see him so happy.
Enjoy your weekend y'all!
Two of Marrv's best friends from Scotland live here in the States as well (Pinehurst and West Palm, FL), both are golf pros as well and are married to American women. The friends from FL will be there (as well as the Florida Scotsman's parents ... from Scotland. And yes, the father is a golf pro in Scotland. Over there they just put golf clubs in their hands as wee boys!)
I'm really looking forward to a long weekend with a group of people Marrv considers family. We spend so much time with my friends or friends he has made here in Philly since moving to the US, but these are the friends who have known him since he was a youngin' and will be the ones with the truly obnoxious, yet hilarious toasts at the wedding.
Needless to say I'm looking forward to it - but the best part has been the look on Marrv's face every day this week. He's like a child at Christmas, so excited to be on vacation, play golf and more than anything - spend time with his best mates. It makes me so happy to see him so happy.
Enjoy your weekend y'all!
8/23/10
A Place to Celebrate!
As mentioned previously, a few weekends ago, Marrvelous and I checked out yet another restaurant location as possibility for hosting our brunch reception. We had a long list of places to consider (Philly really is a great food town), but I think we were holding this one out for last just to be able to confirm to ourselves that this was the right choice.
From the get-go, the owner has been brilliant to work with - quick replies, creating multiple personalized proposals for menus, and just an overall attitude of being sincerely happy to host our celebration.
I knew I needed a place that had good food. Our city has too many fabulous restaurants to settle for anything less than deliciousness. Although I admit, I was a bit worried that even though we are going the brunch route, some restaurants may be out of our budget. But with those personalized proposals, the owner has also provided us several different pricing options as well. And as far as the food goes, all I have to say is that the menu will have jumbo lumb crab eggs benedict on it and so this going to be one happy little bride!
Finally, not only is the location perfect (just about 6 blocks from our ceremony venue and those 6 blocks take us straight through our favorite park which will be perfect for photos) but the look of the restaurant is spot on. We are taking over the 2nd floor, and the ceiling is made up of three extra-large skylights - so we'll have tons of light (fingers crossed for a bright wintery day - or even snow!) and you can also see the restaurant's gardens atop the skylights (from which they pull their vegetables and herbs).
So without further ado...please meet the restaurant where we will be toasting, laughing, and basking in the love and support from our family and friends...
From the get-go, the owner has been brilliant to work with - quick replies, creating multiple personalized proposals for menus, and just an overall attitude of being sincerely happy to host our celebration.
I knew I needed a place that had good food. Our city has too many fabulous restaurants to settle for anything less than deliciousness. Although I admit, I was a bit worried that even though we are going the brunch route, some restaurants may be out of our budget. But with those personalized proposals, the owner has also provided us several different pricing options as well. And as far as the food goes, all I have to say is that the menu will have jumbo lumb crab eggs benedict on it and so this going to be one happy little bride!
Finally, not only is the location perfect (just about 6 blocks from our ceremony venue and those 6 blocks take us straight through our favorite park which will be perfect for photos) but the look of the restaurant is spot on. We are taking over the 2nd floor, and the ceiling is made up of three extra-large skylights - so we'll have tons of light (fingers crossed for a bright wintery day - or even snow!) and you can also see the restaurant's gardens atop the skylights (from which they pull their vegetables and herbs).
So without further ado...please meet the restaurant where we will be toasting, laughing, and basking in the love and support from our family and friends...
7/15/10
The One You Always Dreamed About...
Just about three weeks ago, I did it. I went dress shopping.
Since getting engaged, I definitely had spent a good chunk of time over the past 6 months or so looking at dresses online and in magazines. I was also well aware of my limited budget, plus honestly, there is a part of me that just screams "you only wear it once, for one day" over and over inside my head. Don't get me wrong, I fell instantly in love with every Monique Lhuillier, one or two Jim Hjelm and quite a few Melissa Sweet. I also incorporated many hours on the Weddingbee classifieds, Recycled Bride pages and PreOwned Wedding Dresses. But then I always got freaked out about sizing and what the dress really looked like in person, the feel of the fabric, the weight of it...and I could never bring myself to buy one.
I had it in my head that I would visit Nordstroms (for the customer service alone it makes me want to open my wallet), Saks, Bloomies, etc and see what I could find off the rack. Not only did I think these would fit in my budget, but I have a confession. As much as I love buying new clothes, and I thought the dress part could be fun and really pretty and all of that -- I get a little antsy about being the sole center of some salesperson's attention. I don't think it's just that sometimes salesclerks can be pushy, or that you walk away buying 5 more products or articles of clothing you didn't even need (and jeez, 1 hour in Target lets me know I'm capable of overbuying all on my own, I don't need a trained salesperson to help). I think it's also because I just like the independence and having that quiet moment with your own thoughts before having several people flock around you and tell you 'get this' or 'try this'.
So with all of these different thoughts running through my head, I made an appointment at a local shop with the intention of a Nordstroms' visit immediately after, called up my aunt who I'm super close with and said "Um, do you want to go with me while I look at dresses?". She was pretty touched that I asked her, of course I wanted her there, but my thinking also involved the following:
1. My mother passed away when I was 15
2. My mother in law lives in Scotland
3. The one person, my MOH, that I've asked to "stand up" for us lives on the other side of the country
4. How could I possibly subject other friends to the horror of sitting in a bridal shop for hours while I walked in and out of the dressing room huffing and puffing my way through a ton of dresses!
Since getting engaged, I definitely had spent a good chunk of time over the past 6 months or so looking at dresses online and in magazines. I was also well aware of my limited budget, plus honestly, there is a part of me that just screams "you only wear it once, for one day" over and over inside my head. Don't get me wrong, I fell instantly in love with every Monique Lhuillier, one or two Jim Hjelm and quite a few Melissa Sweet. I also incorporated many hours on the Weddingbee classifieds, Recycled Bride pages and PreOwned Wedding Dresses. But then I always got freaked out about sizing and what the dress really looked like in person, the feel of the fabric, the weight of it...and I could never bring myself to buy one.
I had it in my head that I would visit Nordstroms (for the customer service alone it makes me want to open my wallet), Saks, Bloomies, etc and see what I could find off the rack. Not only did I think these would fit in my budget, but I have a confession. As much as I love buying new clothes, and I thought the dress part could be fun and really pretty and all of that -- I get a little antsy about being the sole center of some salesperson's attention. I don't think it's just that sometimes salesclerks can be pushy, or that you walk away buying 5 more products or articles of clothing you didn't even need (and jeez, 1 hour in Target lets me know I'm capable of overbuying all on my own, I don't need a trained salesperson to help). I think it's also because I just like the independence and having that quiet moment with your own thoughts before having several people flock around you and tell you 'get this' or 'try this'.
So with all of these different thoughts running through my head, I made an appointment at a local shop with the intention of a Nordstroms' visit immediately after, called up my aunt who I'm super close with and said "Um, do you want to go with me while I look at dresses?". She was pretty touched that I asked her, of course I wanted her there, but my thinking also involved the following:
1. My mother passed away when I was 15
2. My mother in law lives in Scotland
3. The one person, my MOH, that I've asked to "stand up" for us lives on the other side of the country
4. How could I possibly subject other friends to the horror of sitting in a bridal shop for hours while I walked in and out of the dressing room huffing and puffing my way through a ton of dresses!
6/20/10
Father's Day...
Just wanted to wish all the dads out there a happy day. And send a special happy thought out in the universe to my pops - This is my 3rd Father's Day without him, it's gone by so fast. It wasn't always a smooth relationship, and not always rosy. But I know that he loved me, and tried his best, and I miss him.
[Bob, otherwise known as Moose]
[Christmas 2004 - although a bit blurry]
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