Ok, so now that we're only roughly four months away I've been putting more thought into the logistics for our guests. Wondering when they'll arrive, where they'll stay, what meals we should provide, all of that. And now this huge weight of guilt has fallen on top of my shoulders and I can't seem to shrug it off.
Our wedding may be on the more intimate side, but there is still a group of out of towners and we're asking them to travel the weekend before the Christmas holidays. And with a Sunday morning wedding, I wonder if they'll have to stay over night until Monday as well.
I start thinking about how much it will cost them for flights. For hotels. For drinks and meals that they may need other than the two "times" we're providing. Taking time off work. Some of these younger couples have babies or infants and may even be leaving them with grandparents so they can travel a little lighter.
And all for our little, tiny, insignificant marriage celebration.
I know no one would say anything, fortunately we don't have to deal with any obnoxious obvious behavior (as far as I know...so far). But I can't help but be consumed with how bad I feel to make these people travel, pay hundreds of dollars, take time off...and all just to watch us say I Do at a small, morning ceremony followed by a small, brunch reception. Perhaps if we were having the blow out evening extravaganza that most people have - with a live band, passed hor d'ourves, photobooth, seated dinner, and open bar (though yes, our brunch reception will have an open bar, but how much can people drink at brunch when they may have to fly out that same day!! Ack. This is how my brain throws even more guilt onto my shoulders - worrying about people not properly abusing our open bar!)
We're going to see two of Marrvelous's closest Scottish friends next weekend and their families on a mini vacation to North Carolina. The one is our best man. And yet, I'm so nervous to bring up the wedding with them and to ask when they think they will fly in/out because I feel so bad that they have to spend that money and worry about that travel expense especially at the holidays - and also with these two, then worrying that because of our wedding, they won't be able to be with their families in Scotland because all of their extra vacation money went to being in Philadelphia with us.
Sigh. I hope I can get to a point where I not only tell myself to be ok with this, but that I really am ok with this. I know that it's small because it's our family and handful of closest friends. So these are people that really want to be there, but instead, right now - I just keep thinking, "Really? All of that for our little old celebration?"